


The Only Negative Trait

by RedeyesGreenhoodie



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depressing Thoughts, Set after Thomas's Originality video
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-09 23:06:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10423824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedeyesGreenhoodie/pseuds/RedeyesGreenhoodie
Summary: Anxiety is not dealing well with what transpired in the Originality video.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of a post by @analogicality-sanders on Tumblr

Anxiety lie in bed, thinking about the day's events. Overanalyzing every little interaction. Thinking about how stupid he was. He must be if he thinks the others might actually acknowledge that he might be good for Thomas.

_"Good for Thomas?!"_ Prince might say. _"You're definitely not good for Thomas! You're-"_ Tears began to form as he finished the thought. _"You're the only trait that doesn't ever try to bring him joy!"_

Anxiety's breathing sped up as he tried to hold back tears. He was trying to do his job, to keep Thomas safe! To make sure he's aware of what could be lurking around the corner!  _ To never allow him happiness. _

Anxiety clenched his teeth, they made a dull scraping noise. The tears weren't held back anymore. They made warm trails leaving cold as they dry.  _ Ha. That's a bit like me, isn't it? The others make Thomas happy, bring him life. I just- _ Anxiety started shivering. His breathing became deeper. _ I just remind him of the cold bitterness of it all. Why can't I just be helpful like the others? Why can't I be a positive trait? I just want to be normal. _

Anxiety's throat felt incredibly dry. His breathing became labored. It was so bad, it eventually dove into hard coughs, making it feel impossible to breathe. 

Anxiety tried to think anything-  **everything-** positive in order to stop his train of thought. But it was to no avail. _ I don't help Thomas, do I? All I ever do is hurt him. I remind him of awful things, make him stay up late, make him paranoid, not want to interact with anyone or anything. If I never existed then Thomas's life would be easier. Maybe I should just disappear. If I stay in my room then nobody will even notice. Besides, even if they do, they'll be glad. _

Anxiety felt like he was drowning. His airways feeling as if they were clogged, his vision blurring, his heart beating too fast, too hard, against his chest. His breathing stopped for a couple of seconds, and sudden, uncontrollable laughter came out.

The laughter didn't feel right. It felt dark, it scared Anxiety that it was coming out of his mouth. Words fell out with the laughter, ones that he didn't want to say. "Ahaha! Life is meaningless! Life is meaningless and Thomas will die one day! And we'll die along with him! Hahaha! I'm worried about how others perceive me! I'm Anxiety, of course I'm anxious! I- haha- I can never escape it! I'm so stupid! I'm an idiot! Haha- ha- haha... ha... ha..."

Anxiety's laughter slowed and he felt the weight of his words push down on him. His chest felt tight. The smile that had come with the laughter died out, leaving a frown getting deeper and deeper. "...I...I'm so..." His voice shook. "...stu-...pid..." It broke.

He sniffled and wondered if happiness was possible anymore. As his eyes closed, he felt the answer was likely 'No'. Anxiety’s nightmares were worse than usual that night.

**Author's Note:**

> So accidentally laughing is a thing I do if I cry too hard, and it makes it incredibly hard to breathe. So Anxiety gets to have that quality.


End file.
